Richard Osman: ‘The Betrayal Of The Valiant Hero Joe Marler By The Massed Forces Of Evil.’
What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t this time last year?
MH: I’d love to say it’s something to do with my biome, but it’s that the third martini is always a mistake. Excited to learn this lesson all over again in 2026.
RO: I like wearing slippers. No going back now.
What do you think the world got right this year?
MH: It continued to exist, which I love for it.
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RO: Nitro from Gladiators.
What do you think the world got wrong this year?
MH: It failed to live its best life, which I don’t love for it.
RO: AI broadband help desks.
What is your cultural highlight of 2025?
RO: The Ballad Of Wallis Island, the best British film in many years. Hats off to Tim Key, Tom Basden and Carey Mulligan.
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MH: Adolescence – a technical masterpiece that exploded off the screen.
Did you see Oasis?
RO: Yes, endlessly.
MH: No but I’d have loved it. My husband claims they “have one song”. They do not have one song.
Would you rather be a Traitor or a Faithful?
MH: A Traitor, obviously, successfully convincing a majority of players to misspell “RITCHARD” on their slate.
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RO: A Traitor. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in my room while Su Pollard, Frankie Dettori and Stormzy were in the turret, wearing cloaks and being fed Quality Street by the crew.
Where were you when you found out Taylor Swift was engaged?
MH: Online, without service interruption, being repeatedly told by the internet that it had broken the internet. Having said all that, congrats to the happy couple.
RO: On Cloud Nine. Finally, she catches a break.
Do you think your job is at risk from AI?
MH: I fundamentally don’t believe a machine could mess up the basic podcast intro as often as I do. Harder than it looks, Mr Robot.
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RO: Do I think the podcast would be as successful if it was just Marina talking to Siri? I do.
What would your internet browsing history say about you this year?
RO: That I REALLY wanted Fulham to buy Kevin from Shaktar Donetsk.
MH: That I own enough knitwear.
What is the oddest family Christmas tradition you keep?
MH: Pretending the mission-creep level of home decoration is happening to me, rather than because of me.
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RO: Tallest person opens presents first.
Are you more or less hopeful than at the start of 2025?
MH: I’m an optimist so I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, it’s a sewage tunnel – but we’ll get there.
RO: I also confidently predict we can Shawshank our way out of our current problems.
What one thing are you looking forward to in 2026?
RO: Having finished my new book (the book I’m writing, not the book I’m reading).
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MH: Ideally, an outbreak of poetic justice.
What’s your big idea to make 2026 better than 2025?
RO: A chocolate which is half Malteser and half Minstrel.
MH: A hazmat suit, but for the news.
What’s your Big Issue for 2026?
MH: World peace. And Erling Haaland to Chelsea.
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RO: World peace. And Cole Palmer to Fulham.
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